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Headline Potpourri #26: Dangling Pistol Grips, Beck’s Jonestown, Bloomturd’s Odometer
01-16-2013, 06:48 PM,
Headline Potpourri #26: Dangling Pistol Grips, Beck’s Jonestown, Bloomturd’s Odometer
Obama claims he does not want America to become a dead beat nation. The only reason he got elected was because a significant plurality of Americans have degenerated into deadbeats.

In a CNN interview, Jesse Jackson insisted that manufacturers should be held responsible for gun crimes. Applying this logic, shouldn't newspapers be held liable for any crime befalling their status in relation to the promulgated gun ownership address list?

Governor Cuomo of New York insists no hunter needs 10 bullets to kill a deer. No law enforcement officer then needs 10 bullets to incapacitate a suspect.

So will students attending Obama's gun control pronouncement be marked absent from school or be granted Master's degrees for having instantaneously received in the course of a single morning a graduate level education in psychological manipulation and political indoctrination?

It would be interesting to keep track over the years down the road just how many whelps at the Obama gun control oration will themselves go on to instigate assorted violent crimes despite pleading with the government to take away our right of self defense.

Shouldn't law enforcement be as enthusiastic to investigate a video game where players can shoot the president of the NRA as they would a video game targeting a sitting President of the United States?

In expounding his vision of his proposed utopian community (in other words, a cult compound), Glenn Beck intoned, "There isn't going to be a Gap here. There's no Ann Taylor. You want an Ann Taylor, go someplace else." However, the question must be asked. Once people move there, will residents be allowed to travel beyond its boundaries to visit these retailers as they see fit? And if neighbors spot you with merchandise from these merchants, will you have to fear assorted forms of retaliation? Years ago, in a letter to the editor criticizing a column I had published, one of the criticisms insinuated was that I dared to shop at establishments that were not in the COMMUNITY.

Obama has categorized Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas as having an insufficiently developed legal mind. A clear cut example of the doctrine of it takes one to know one.

Wal-Mart has announced it intends to hire any veteran seeking a job. The policy is commendable. However, as a result will the corporation layoff non-veterans in order to find positions? Warm feelings are not going to pay the bills of employees that find themselves out in the cold.

Liberals are outraged the NRA has produced a video game where you shoot paper targets but shockingly mum over the game produced by malcontents where players shoot the head of the NRA.

What is inherently evil about a pistol grip? It's not the pistol grip that flies out of the barrel of a gun and hits people.

According to New York ballistic experts, apparently the first seven bullets in a firearm's magazine are not lethal.

The brats gathered to kiss Obama's feet at the gun control ceremony are probably the ones with beatnik parents that would never let them play with war toys (or eat McDonald's food for that matter).

A judge ruled that a teacher was unable to escape her past in pornography. Wonder what grueling legal research this esteemed jurist used to reach such a decision.

Like the vast majority of winning school science fair projects, were the letters written to Obama about gun control actually written by the children or more likely by the parents with the kid's named slapped on it?

What kind of carbon footprint was expended airlifting the children to the White House to be deployed as human shields at Obama’s gun control festival?

If doctors are going to gather intelligence on the extent and placement of guns in your home, will they also add to your government file the positions in which you prefer to make love?

Under the merger of Obama's healthcare and gun control programs, doctors are suppose to ask about firearms in the homes of their patients. What if patient's lie or finagle the truth like nearly everything else one is asked by the doctor?

The New York gun control legislation outlaws pistol grips dangling conspicuously beneath a firearm’s undercarriage. Is this law about preventing gun violence or the further codification of hatred of the male anatomy?

Two boys were suspended from an Talbot Country, Maryland school for playing cops and robbers with digits extended as make believe firearms. Is the real threat pretend violence or the distinctively male aspects of the childhood imagination?

New York city police want GPS devices placed in prescription medicine bottles. Perhaps Mayor Bloomturd would like an odometer placed in a roll of toilet paper to determine how many sheets at a time one uses to wipe oneself.

If a newspaper can publish a list of addresses where gun owners are believed to reside, what is so wrong with a political advertisement highlighting celebrities and public officials whose children go to schools protected by armed security?

It is being pointed out that in certain jurisdictions that it is illegal to hunt deer with a weapon holding more than six rounds of ammunition. Liberals then snip how deplorable it is that we as a society care more about the deer than our fellow human beings. But aren’t the liberals the ones that have promulgated this spirit of jurisprudence where animals are often elevated to a position of superiority over human beings through largely pointless regulations and penalties that serve no real purpose?

The White House has said an NRA ad in favor of armed school security is repugnant because the President’s children should not be used as political pawns. But why is it OK for the President to use every other American child in that manner?

by Frederick Meekins

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